5 Tips to Prepare for Divorce Mediation

All divorces need not go to court. In most cases the law is very clear and litigation is not necessary. A Divorce Mediation is a less costly alternative that makes the dissolution of marriage less painful in terms of legal, financial and personal matters. You will still experience the mixed emotions that come with a divorce, but you will be able to handle the process with more serenity.

Here are five tips that can help before you and your spouse sit with a mediator:

  1.    Agree to agree

This first step will determine the efficacy of mediating. It is like pre-mediation, if you will. You both have to agree that mediation is the best choice for both of you. Dragging your spouse to negotiation would defeat the purpose.

You need to take the time to talk about mediation and what it entails, how much time you can commit to it and how you will share the cost.

  1.    Be prepared before a Divorce Mediation

Mediation is effective if you come to the table prepared. You need to know what you have and what you want when it’s over

Make a list of your possessions, assets and investments – shared or personal. Make an inventory of your belongings. Gather all financial documents pertaining to your income and expenses.

Your financial status will be an important part of the discussions, so you want to be as ready and accurate as possible.

  1.    Set goals

The list you made regarding what you have will be of great help in deciding what you want and what you need. You have to consider what is important to you, what you cannot live without. Try and evaluate where you can be flexible so the discussions are less heated when it comes to splitting antique furniture or mementos.

Do not forget to plan ahead. Budgeting your future income and expenses will play a major part in the mediation.

  1.    Include your children

You are going through a difficult time and your children are in for the ride. Your kids need to be reassured that your going from parenting to co-parenting will not affect their life in a damaging way. They will likely have fears and questions about the future and you should answer honestly. Custody, holidays, school and where you all will live are topics likely to come up.

  1.    Choose wisely

The choice of a mediator is as important as agreeing to end your marriage. Your future depends on how professional and qualified that person is. Do not limit your criteria to convenience of location or competitive fees. Take time to interview before hiring: areas of expertise, certification and experience.

The main outcome of mediation is to agree through collaboration. Triad Divorce Mediation offers a unique approach based on expertise and experience. By working with professionals from the financial, legal and coaching disciplines, Triad Divorce Mediation brings both parties to an agreement that works for all involved and allow you to move forward.

Does Divorce Mediation Have a Place in Domestic Violence?

Courts thread with caution in divorce cases where domestic violence has been established. Is mediation appropriate as an alternative to litigation if one spouse is victim of domestic abuse?

Knowing that domestic violence is a reality in about half of heterosexual couples in America, the odds of a mediator encountering a case of domestic abuse are that much higher. In many cases, evidence of domestic violence might be unknown when the mediation process begins, due to the silence the parties keep about it.

If the evidence of domestic violence has been brought to the attention of the mediator, he or she will follow a screening protocol to assess if the couple is a good candidate for mediation. In essence, this process will evaluate the balance of power between the spouses, assess the degree of control of the abuser and determine if there is any threat of physical danger to the parties involved. At all times, the mediator’s main concern is the safety of his clients.

Should the couple proceed with the negotiations with the help of a mediator, policies are set to avoid any risk: separate meetings, exclusive communication, presence of a peace officer for escort if the abused spouse is under considerable fear.

Ground rules can be agreed to, such as precluding topics from the discussions or preventing the parties to communicate so the outcome of mediation is not jeopardized.

For divorce mediation to have a place in a case of domestic violence, the mediators have to be skilled and able to recognize the signs of abuse- when it has not been disclosed- and able to provide a safe environment to their clients. Mediation is collaboration between the parties so the dissolution of marriage is fair to both. However, safety should never be compromised in the process.

Triad Divorce Mediation is a team of highly skilled professionals who provide legal, financial and personal advice to divorcing couples. They work towards a solid agreement for both parties even in high conflict disputes.